New Email Address Situation

My email address alex@alexhorne.com seems to be either broken or very ill. Emails from nice people bounce back and emails from thousands of pratdiggers get through.

So if you need to get in touch, and that would be brilliant, please find me at shakeyhorne@hotmail.com.

Good old hotmail! etc etc

Up To Date Stand Up Dates Update

Right. I've had a tiny holiday but I'm now back and as near to raring to go as I'll ever be.

And this is where I'm almost raring to go to:

SEPTEMBER
Sat, 16-Sep-06, Comedy Tree, Putney
Sat, 16-Sep-06, ED Comedy, Forest Hill
Mon, 18-Sep-06, Comedy Store
Wed, 20-Sep-06, The Wharf, Cardiff
Sat, 23-Sep-06, Monkey Business, Camden
Wed, 27-Sep-06, Roisin Dubh, Galway
Thu, 28-Sep-06, Laughter Lounge, Dublin
Fri, 29-Sep-06, Laughter Lounge, Dublin
Sat, 30-Sep-06, Laughter Lounge, Dublin

OCTOBER
Sun, 01-Oct-06, Waterman's, Brentford
Tue, 03-Oct-06, Mirth Control, Birmingham
Wed, 04-Oct-06, Mirth Control, Andover
Fri, 06-Oct-06, OTK, Windsor
Sat, 07-Oct-06, Guild Hall, Gloucester
Wed, 11-Oct-06, Mirth Control, Fleet
Thu, 12-Oct-06, GSOH, Luton
Fri, 13-Oct-06, OTK, Aylesbury
Wed, 18-Oct-06, Mirth Control, West Hampstead
Sat, 21-Oct-06, Amused Moose, Soho
Sat, 21-Oct-06, ED Comedy, Forest Hill
Wed, 25-Oct-06, Comedy Bunker, London
Thu, 26-Oct-06, Comedy Café, London
Fri, 27-Oct-06, Monkey Business, Camden
Fri, 27-Oct-06, Comedy Café, London
Sat, 28-Oct-06, Amused Moose, Soho
Sat, 28-Oct-06, Comedy Café, London

NOVEMBER
Wed, 01-Nov-06, Comedy Company, Lincoln
Fri, 03-Nov-06, Comedy Company, Bracknell
Sun, 05-Nov-06, Boat Trip, Amsterdam
Mon, 06-Nov-06, GSOH, Newbury
Tue, 07-Nov-06, Keele University
Fri, 10-Nov-06, South Hill Park, Bracknell
Thu, 16-Nov-06, Millfield Theatre, Edmonton
Tue, 21-Nov-06, Abingdon School
Fri, 24-Nov-06, Comedy Company, Bradford
Thu, 30-Nov-06, Mirth Control, Waterloo

DECEMBER
Fri, 01-Dec-06, Courtyard Theatre, Hereford
Mon, 04-Dec-06, White Hart Hotel, Salisbury
Tue, 05-Dec-06, Imperial College, London
Tue, 12-Dec-06, Millennium Centre, Cardiff
Wed, 13-Dec-06, Millennium Centre, Cardiff
Thu, 14-Dec-06, Millennium Centre, Cardiff
Tue, 19-Dec-06, OTK, Dartmouth
Wed, 20-Dec-06, OTK, St. Austell
Thu, 21-Dec-06, Cosmic Comedy, Lyndhurst

I like blogger but I think I like myspace more

There's only so much time you can spend writing things about yourself but I apologise again for the bolloness of this blog. However, if you go to www.myspace.com/alhorne you can probably find more up to date gig dates, audio and video clips and blog bits.

The thing is, it's just a bit more fun there because other people have myspace sites and it feels like you're in a busy Italian cafe on the night of a big World Cup game rather than an echoey shopping centre at midnight.

So, I'll be there for a bit.

Obviously sometimes we do all like to be in a deserted shopping centre at midnight so I'm sure I'll be back here soon.

I got some comments.

Now then. I have decided that I'm going to really get on top of this new technology incredibly soon. I'm going to embrace podcasts, experiment with video messaging and regularly update my website.

First, however, I need to learn how to respond to people's comments. I've tried 'replying' but it seems a little bit more complicated than that.

So for now I am simply going to say thank you to Pauly: I am now bigged up and I enjoyed Folkestone too. And thank you too Crazy Stallion, I'm glad you like the info (more of which will be available soon). Finally, to Mr Google Nut, I do not want to buy a birdhouse from you and I do not find your spring deals interesting.

Many thanks.

Hello and sorry this blog is a little bit bollo!

If you stick with it you will find some stand up dates below, then some names of things, then a silly interview and THEN the tour dates which really should be at the top but I can't work out how to do that yet.

Thank you for sticking with it.

(I am a bit of a bollo man when it comes to blogs)

Stand Up Dates Update

January

Weds 25th - Felsted Grammar School, Essex
Thurs 26th - Barking
Fri 27th - Halifax
Sat 28th - Loughborough University
Sun 29th - Hull University
Mon 30th - New Cross, Happy Mondays
Tues 31st - Fat Tuesdays, London

February
Thurs 2nd - Enfield, Roar with Laughter
Fri 3rd - Portsmouth, Wedgwood Rooms
Sat 4th - Brunel University
Thurs 9th - Comedy Tree, Putney
Tues 14th-Fri 17th - The Alps
Tues 21st - Chichester
Thurs 23rd - Haywards Heath
Fri 24th - Up the Creek, Greenwich
Sat 25th - Hampstead Comedy Club then East Dulwich Comedy
Tues 28th - Cardiff University

March
Weds 1st - Streatham
Thurs 2nd - Worcester
Fri 3rd - Chichester Festival Theatre (tour)
Sat 4th - New Milton (tour)
Sun 5th - Stafford
Mon 6th - Norwich University
Tues 7th - Bolton Albert Hall
Thurs 9th - Chester (tour)
Fri 10th - Manchester (tour)
Sat 11th - Windsor (tour)
Tues 14th - Lincoln (tour)
Thurs 16th - Nottingham
Fri 17th - Heaven, Charing Cross
Sat 18th - Heaven then Monkey Business, Camden
Sun 19th - Exeter (tour)
Mon 20th - Gloucester
Tues 21st - London 606 Club (tour)
Sat 25th - Bristol (tour)
Thurs 30th - Swindon (tour)
Fri 31st - Caernarfon (tour)

April
Sat 1st - Winchester (tour)
Thurs 6th - Nottingham
Fri 7th - Sevenoaks
Sat 8th - Cirencester (tour)
Thurs 13th - High Wycombe
Sat 15th - Folkestone
Sat 22nd - Colchester (tour)
Thurs 27th - Tunbridge Wells
Sat 29th - Alencester (tour)

May
Thurs 4th - Canterbury (tour)
Fri 5th - Reading (tour)
Sat 6th - London Red Rose (tour)
Fri 12th - Bournemouth
Sat 13th - Hull
Sun 14th - Middlesborough
Wes 17th - Sat 20th - Soho Theatre (tour)
Sun 21st - Up The Creek, Greenwich
Fri 26th - Chelmsford (tour)
Sat 27th - Halifax (tour)
Sun 28th - York (tour)
Weds 31st - Bath (tour)

A Collection of Things that have Ludicrous Names

FLYSPRAYS
Raid
Cluster Buster – Quicksand for flies!
Tricky Disco House Fly Spray
Len Rys Miracle Coat No Fly Zone Horse Spray
Naf Off Fly Repellent
Secto 9058 Combat Fly and Wasp Killer
Barrier Enhanced Formula Fly Repellent
Barrier Super Plus Fly Repellent with Avocado Coat Conditioner
No Flies On Me

SHOPPING CENTRES
The Oracle (Reading)
Broadway (Bexleyheath)
The Light (Leeds)
Festival Place (Basingstoke)
Atlantic Village (Bideford)
The Pyramids (Birkenhead)
The Fort (Birmingham)
Bull Ring (Birmingham)
The Glades (Bromley)
Centrale (Croydon)The Galleria (Hatfield)
Cascades (Portsmouth)Liberty (Romford)
Crystal Peaks (Sheffield)Observatory Arcade (Slough)
Golden Square (Warrington)
Sovereign (Weston-super-Mare)

FUNCTION BANDS
Pop of Ages
Good Times
Dr Teeth
Freespirit
Perfect Strangers
True Flair

FONTS
Aajax Surreal Freak
Aardvark Café
Elephant
Abduction 2002
Accidental President
Anchor Steam
Gill Sans Ultra Bold Condensed
Goudy Stout
Haettenschweiler
Palatino Linotype

BIRD FEEDERS
RSPB BirdCare Defender II
The Original Tom Chambers Seed Shack
Super Carousel Feeder
Infinite Feeding System ($159.95)
Droll Yankees Thistle Domed Cage Feeder
Squirrel Proof Accent Selective Feeder
Snug Harbor Safe Haven Window Feeder
Regal Masterpiece Feeder
Twirl-a-Squirrel with a Spiral Feeder
Yankee Flipper Squirrel-Proof Birdfeeder
Squirrel Blocker Advantage Birdfeeder
Wild Bill’s Electric Birdfeeder – 8 Ports!Sky Café – with Dividers!
Metal Songbird Selective Haven Birdfeeder with free ‘Enjoying Birdfeeding More Booklet’
Absolute Anniversary Edition Birdfeeder
The Bird’s Choice Feeder
The Globe
Vista Dome
Super Cling-A-Wing
Squirrel-Be-Gone Country Style Birdfeeder
Twirl-A-Squirrel Baffle

TRIBUTE BANDS
Abba-dabba-do
Howard’s Silver Hammer (Beatles)
Lenny Pane
Sergeant Pepper’s Only Dart Board Band
Once More Into the Bleach (Blondie)
By Jovi
George MacMichael
Judashit (Judas Priest)
Fred Zeppelin
Let’s Eppelin
Gobbie Williams
The Rolling Clones
Shania Twin

LYNX DEODORANTS
Africa
Apollo
Voodoo
Atlantis
Gravity
Oriental
Inca
Nevada
Mars
Touch
Toucan
Mirage
Tempest
Pulse
Dimension

NO FEAR SLOGANS
If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much space.
It must be hard living without a back bone
I'm not scared...I'm not afraid...I'm tough, I'm an animal and I will eat you if I have to.
Look at danger and laugh your head off.
If all you have in life is a hammer, treat everything like a nail.
There are those who are born scared, afraid, and not willing to show some balls or guts. I eat those people for breakfast
Stronger, faster younger, and I practice while you sleep
Sleep, sleep, I'll get all the sleep I need after I'm dead!
Fear has many faces. This will never be one of them.

CHILDRENS’ ENTERTAINERS
Roger Arnay’s Magical Laughter Show
Uncle Chris
The Great Vinchenzo

LADIES FASHION SHOPS
Stepping out in Style (Midhurst)
Elegant Lady (Lisnaskea)

NIGHTCLUBS
Michael’s Fun Bar (Burnham-on-Sea)
Moonjuice (Radstock)
Mallards (Radstock)
Envy (Street, near Bath)
Le Jardin (Yeovil)
Enigma (Aspects Leisure Park, Bedford)
Ethos and Visage (Leisure World, Hemel Hempstead)
Traxx Niteclub Ltd (Unit 1, Hitchin)
Chicago Rock Café (Luton)
Sanctuary (Milton Keynes)
Pulse and Vogue (Unit 6, Stevenage Leisure Park)
Destiny (Watford)
New York New York (Wolverhampton)
The Colliseum (Walsall)
Club Arcadia (West Bromwich)
No Limits (Dudley)
Hipnotiq (Bristol)

STUDENT BARS
The Stumble Inn (Royal Holloway, University of London)

HAIR STYLING
Aussie Mega Styling Spray
Aussie Real Volume Body Lock Aerosol Spray
Aussie Sprunch Spray
Clairol Final Net All Day Hold Hairspray Regular
Pantene Pro V Settique Spray, Hold and Protect with Colorshine
Physique Thicker Fuller Hair Volumizing Finishing Styler
Paul Mitchell Super Clean Sculpting Gel with Awapuhi
Imina P&G Liquid Activator-Relaxer Kit

GLADIATORS
Bullitt
Rhino
Diesel
Raider
Rio
Zodiac
Vogue

HAIRDRYERS
Nicky Clarke Supermodels Pro-Ceramic AC Dryer NCD34
Adee & Paul Pro Bloww 5530AU
Braun Futur Pro Professional
Babyliss Ionic
Revlon 9190U Midnight Silver
Babyliss Patrick Cameron Experts Professional Dryer 5390U
Vidal Sassoon Pro-Elite 2000 Watt
Remington Big Shot Curl Up
Remington Compact Turbo CT1600
Babyliss Whisper Jet Hairdryer
Remington Big Shot Mini Hairdryer
Babyliss Black Magic Pro

STREET NAMES
Whip-ma-whop-ma gate (York - leading to a road called 'the shambles' - thank you, Cob)
Hornyold Road (Malvern)
Telephone Road (Portsmouth)
Jethro Tull Gardens (Crowmarsh Gifford, Wallingford)
Fanny Hands Lane (Lincolnshire)
Peppermint Avenue (Singapore)
Nice View (Leeds)
Fawcett Road (Portsmouth - featuring the Fawcett Inn)
Mincing Way (Walsall)
Menlove Gardens (Liverpool)
Jefferys Passage (Guildford)
Wibbley Wobbley Lane (near Shillington, Bedfordshire)
Ha Ha Road (Woolwich, London)

TAKEAWAYS
A Salt and Battery (Fish and Chip shop, Newcastle - thanks again, Cob)
Kebabylon (Kebab shop, Manchester - Cob, once more)

PLEASE DO GET IN TOUCH WITH MORE THINGS THAT HAVE LUDICROUS NAMES

I Done an Interview

http://www.fringereport.com/int0601alexhorne.shtml